To Whoever Cares
A screen shows a woman looking directly at the camera, crying.
She is seen outside walking toward the edge of the roof of her building.
She is seen shaking, sitting on a couch.
The camera flashes back to a bird’s eye view looking down from the top of her building, where she is clutching the edge.
The screen shows her hand with a pen in in and a notebook which reads: “I cut because I feel like it is the one pain I can control. For a brief period, I am in control. The pain is better than what I feel in my mind. It calms me. When I’m done the thoughts come back. I have to do it again and again to feel in control.”
The pen clicks in and out.
The screen shows her opening a drawer and taking out a razor blade.
We see blood washing down the drain in the bathroom.
The screen shows the notebook, and we see: “Every day is just 24 hours of fighting the urge to stop living and end the suffering.”
We see her lying in bed staring at her ceiling.
We see a white sheet of paper, where she has written: “I feel completely alone and can’t make it stop. It hurts and the pain won’t go away. I just want to die. I’m sorry that leaving is the only way to make it stop. Love, Mom.”
We see one tear hit the paper as she folds the note and addresses it “To whoever cares.”
We see her in the bathroom looking at the mirror. She pours the contents of a full pill bottle into her hand, before returning them and sliding the bottle away.
She is sitting on the floor of the bathroom looking at the note.
We see her reach for her cellphone and Google “suicide hotline.” She dials a number and waits for a response, while putting the note in the trash.
The screen is black. Text reads: Reach out and get help if you or a loved one needs help. Help is available. National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255.
This short film by Steven Braunlin addresses a suicidal woman’s struggle.